


The Purple Pajamas

by KingHippiedude (missreader)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Demi-Guy, Demi-Guy Clint, Friendship, Gender Issues, Multi, Non-Binary Bucky, Non-Binary Clint, Non-binary character, Nonbinary, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Clint, Trans, Trans Bucky, Trans Character, Trans Phil, Transgender, Transgender Bucky, Transgender Clint, Transgender Phil, non-binary, nonbinary bucky, trans Clint, transgender character, transvengers, transvengers assemble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4748681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missreader/pseuds/KingHippiedude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky's crash course in gender and sexuality in the twenty-first century went just as poorly as anticipated, though not for the reasons everyone expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [circ_bamboo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/circ_bamboo/gifts).



Bucky's crash course in gender and sexuality in the twenty-first century went just as poorly as anticipated, though not for the reasons everyone expected. Bucky seemed quite receptive to many of the ideas but had a rather violent breakdown while discussing gender. Steve rushed to Bucky's side to offer comfort but found himself rejected by his best friend. His best friend who he apparently didn't know as well as he thought he did.

That evening, Bucky still wasn't speaking to Steve - or anyone, really. But Bucky did pet Clint's dog, Lucky, and feed him scraps of pizza when he put his head in Bucky's lap. Everyone was hanging out on the common floor, nominally watching a movie, but mostly just lounging. Bucky was looking at something on a tablet but wouldn't let anyone else see what it was. Thor was the only one actually paying any attention to the film. Tony was fiddling with a holographic blueprint of something. Bruce and Steve were both reading books. And Natasha was sitting in the floor in front of Clint so that he could play with her hair and she could paint his toenails.

Eventually Tony wandered off to his lab or garage to work on some project or another and the other Avengers began to drift off to their beds. When Clint and Bucky were the last ones left on the common floor, Bucky finally spoke up.

"No one said anything about...," Bucky trailed off, gesturing at Clint's purple toe nails.

"Nope." Clint made the 'p' pop. "Steve and Thor both had questions, but they're my toes, and I like making them pretty."

"But, you're a man...?"

"Not really. Kinda, I guess." Clint sighed. "It's complicated. I identify as non-binary, but I'm more guy than girl, I guess is the best way to explain it. It's called a 'demi-guy'. I'm usually pretty masculine and use he/him pronouns, but I don't really feel like a man all the time, and sometimes I like feminine things. Which itself doesn't actually make me not a man... sorry, I was rambling a bit. Did you understand any of that?"

"Uh, I think so. SHIELD was trying to teach me some of this stuff earlier, but I think they thought the 40s were some kind of golden age when men and women always fit into perfect boxes and nobody questioned it. But there were a lot of queers in our neighborhood who dressed up like women. And there were a lot of women who dressed up like men."

“You shouldn’t really use the word ‘queers.’ A lot of people have issues with it because it’s a slur. And there’s a lot more too it than just dressing up as another gender. Some people really feel in their gut that they’re a different gender than the one they were assigned at birth or they just generally don’t identify with or feel comfortable with the gender they were assigned, and some of them take hormones or have various surgeries to make their bodies match their internal selves, but that’s not a requirement or anything. Some people are perfectly happy with their bodies the way they are or only feel the need to do one of those things. Appearance isn’t always a perfect indicator of gender, and the only way to really know is to ask someone.”

After a long pause, Bucky said, “So wanting makeup and dresses doesn’t mean I’m a sissy or sick…”

Clint hugged Bucky tight and said fiercely, “NO. You are allowed to like whatever you want, and no one should be allowed to tell you that it’s wrong.”

When they finally separated, Clint continued, “Are we talking about just liking things, or is there something more than that?”

“Umm… I don’t know. I’m definitely not a man, though, and everyone keeps treating me like I am. I mostly kind of feel like a woman, but maybe not all the time.”

“Okay. You don’t have to figure it all out at once, but do you want to see if we can find you some pretty pajamas to wear tonight?”

Bucky nodded and followed after Clint as he headed to his personal floor.

“Why do you have these?” Bucky asked when Clint disappeared into a closet and reappeared with some frilly purple pajamas.

“I like them,” Clint said simply.

Bucky just nodded and went into the bathroom to change, carefully double checking that the door was locked, which felt silly since Clint knew now and had seen Bucky change before, but which made Bucky feel better anyways. Bucky’s face was bright red upon emerging from the bathroom in the feminine pajamas. But Bucky also looked somehow more comfortable, smiling shyly.

And of course, that was the moment that Phil Coulson interrupted, sending Bucky into a spiral of fear and anger.

Phil seemed entirely unfazed, greeting Bucky with a simple hello and going about his evening routine as if nothing was wrong. But Bucky’s began to hyperventilate and fled back into the bathroom with its lockable door.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” Clint said through the door. “I didn’t realize Phil would be home so soon and didn’t think to make sure no one would come in. But I promise that Phil doesn’t care and won’t tell anyone.”

“But he saw me in ladies’ pajamas. He probably thinks I’m a freak.”

“Bucky, if you’re a freak, then I’m one too. Those are my pajamas, in case you’ve forgotten. And Phil has seen me in them dozens of times. I promise he doesn’t care.”

Phil finally approached the bathroom and spoke to Bucky, “Bucky, I don’t know what’s going on, but Clint is right. I don’t care if you like to wear ladies’ pajamas. I wouldn’t care if you were dressed entirely in drag, or if you decided that you’re actually a woman.” After a pause he continued, “I wasn’t always the man I am today. I’m transgender. When I was born, the doctor told my parents that they had a little girl. But as I got older I realized that I didn’t feel like a girl, didn’t like being called a girl, and didn’t like a lot of things about my body because it looked like a girl’s body. But I was a little boy. And I told my parents, who did their best to be supportive but didn’t really understand. But they helped me to find people who did. And eventually I started taking hormones and had surgery to remove my breasts. So, please believe me when I say I genuinely couldn’t care less about your clothing choices and will only ever be supportive of whatever you tell me about them. Okay?”

Bucky cracked the door open to see Phil and said, “you don’t look like a woman at all… I didn’t realize you could do that… I know SHIELD was telling me about this, but it’s all so different now…”

“Yes. Medical advances have come a long way, and so has the acceptance of LGBTQ people. We still have a long way to go, but a lot is possible now that people probably couldn’t imagine even 20 years ago.”

Bucky opened the door further, enough to actually crawl out of the bathroom. Bucky had clearly been crying and hadn’t bothered to wipe away the tears. Clint pulled Bucky into a firm hug as tears began to spill from Bucky’s eyes again.

Phil stood up again and entered the bathroom, returning with a damp washcloth to clean Bucky’s face.

Bucky slept on Clint and Phil’s couch that night rather than trek back through the tower to the suite Steve and Bucky shared. Bucky also wasn’t sure how to talk to Steve about any of this. 

***

The next morning, Bucky was nervous about seeing the rest of the team again. Bucky wanted to wear a dress but knew that that would mean explaining everything to the rest of the team. But Clint gave Bucky a great pep talk and braided Bucky's hair, which didn't really make Bucky less nervous, just a little calmer and more determined. Bucky borrowed a dress from Clint and marched straight to the kitchen looking a little terrifying. Fortunately, the Avengers are a hard group to unsettle, so everyone continued on as usual after a moment’s hesitation.

Well, almost everyone. Bruce was fixing scrambled eggs, Steve was fixing pancakes, and Tony was distracting Bruce with questions relating to their current project until Bucky walked in and he asked, “lose a bet, Barnes? Anyone else think he looks like Grumpy Cat? Do you know about Grumpy Cat, Barnes? Man, we need to teach you about internet memes.”

When Tony finally stopped rambling, Bucky took a deep breath and replied, “Could you… could you… callmeshe?”

“I didn’t catch that,” Tony said as Steve repeated, “call me she?” clearly confused.

Bucky looked pleadingly at Clint who explained, “Bucky was asking us to use she/her pronouns when talking about her. We had a really nice conversation about gender last night,” Clint finished with a smile.

“So does that make you a woman?” Tony asked.

“Umm…” Bucky replied. “I don’t really know. I feel more like a woman than a man, but it’s more like I’m somewhere in the middle, I guess.”

Tony nodded, and Bucky kept glancing at Steve, hoping for some kind of response from her best friend.

Steve stayed silent and still for a moment before tackling Bucky in a hug.


	2. Epilogue

A few months later, all of the Avengers, including Bucky, were going to a Stark Industries gala. Bucky was stressing over what to wear.

“Calm down, Bucky,” Clint said, sitting right in front of her, “breathe with me, okay?”

Bucky took a few shuddering breaths and began to calm down.

“What’s the problem?”

“I want to wear something pretty, but people are going to expect me to wear a tux because they see me as a man, and they might get angry if I wore a dress. I don’t want to cause any problems.”

“Bucky, you should wear whatever makes you want and what makes you comfortable. It’s not your fault or your problem if other people don’t like it. But if it would make things easier, I can wear a dress too so that the attention isn’t all on you.”

“Really?” Bucky’s voice was quiet.

“Absolutely, I have the perfect dress in mind. It’s been too long since I wore one. And we can get ready together and I can help you with your hair and makeup too. It’ll be great.”

Bucky smiled.

The night of the gala, Bucky wore a simple black gown that was fitted through the top and filled out with breast forms and had a looser flowing skirt to allow her to move easily. She looked absolutely stunning with her hair curled and subtle makeup.

But Clint stole the show in a fitted purple satin gown with geometric cutouts and a slit that reached mid-thigh. His strappy silver heels made him taller than Phil, but the two were absolutely adorable together.

Though Bucky had gotten some odd looks and was sure people had questions, Clint’s distraction had worked well to redirect attention, as did the fact that everyone knew she was the Winter Soldier. So she stood uninterrupted at the edge of the ballroom until a familiar voice suddenly spoke up, “May I have this dance?” And she looked up to see Steve Rogers standing in front of her.

Bucky just smiled and took his hand, dragging him towards the dance floor.


End file.
